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Putting my service van into park, I stepped out of the vehicle angrily to assess the damage.Behind me was a white Lexus SUV, its bumper and grill crumpled from the impact. The ladder on the back of my van was pushed into the doors, both of which were concave. My rear bumper seemed to have taken most of the impact.I looked up at the driver and stared into a pair of large, circular dark lenses. Behind the sunglasses was a faux-tan face, its made-up lips twisted into an 'o' of surprise or horror.I'm a big man. I stand 6'6" and weigh 260. Most of it is muscle, although I'm not in as good shape as I used to be. I flicked my cigarette onto the ground and squashed it. This Lexus-driving bimbo had just made my day a lot less convenient.I tried to control my anger as I approached the driver's side. She had the window down already. "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry!" she blustered. "I just took my eyes off the road for a second, I swear!" Yeah, sure, just a second. Bet she was texting.Vehicles were. Sarah said, so everyone could hear, “My protector, Jackie the ‘Invisible Woman’ wants you to know that she is EXTREMELY upset right now. She wants me to tell you that she is NOT a circus act. Now that you know she is here would you please quiet down so that my friends and I can play for you?”The quiet lasted for about 10 seconds before a few drunks at the table to our right began hollering, “show us more, Jackie, show us more!”Sarah just flashed, “Okay boys, ‘Showtime’ take two or three of those clowns and stick them up in the rafters!” (The clubhouse had a 20-foot ceiling with rustic beams and cross-supports.)Without warning, the three loudest knuckleheads found themselves perched up in the rafters hanging on for dear life. They started screaming to be put down. Sarah said into the microphone, “Okay Jackie, pull ‘em down!”Everyone in the place began cheering and laughing hysterically as all three of their pants were now around their ankles! Sarah was laughing so hard she struggled.
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